Or It's All About Perception…
Previously, we have talked about relationships and the difficulty men and women have in sustaining these relationships as well as how often the species mis-communicate. We have also talked about the consequences of this miscommunication and the effects it has on the personal psyche and the relationship in general. I know, I know, it's just a bunch of psycho-babble but what about this drama of the sexes. Does gender play a role?
Men and women, what do we know about them? Or what do we think we know?
Men talk to men about women and women talk to women about men. Maybe it's time for men to talk to women about men? What do you think? I know you have heard it all before. Maybe you have but maybe it's important to look at it from yet another angle; from yet another point in which to view..
Ok, I know, you believe that as guys we are not all the serious when it comes to women and relationships. You believe relationships frighten us and we refuse to take you seriously. Have you ever thought of the possibility that it's not really true? Maybe, in truth, we are just simpler and less complicated. No, I didn't say simple minded. I just said simpler and less complicated. Now don't take me wrong. We do take you seriously. It's just we are not all that complicated. If you take the time to learn how men process information and events you will see how true this statement is.
So, as a person of the female persuasion, what do you need to know about the male gender? MMMMMMM
Ok, so you say he doesn't understand you; that he hardly ever even listens to you or pays attention to either what you believe or how you feel. You believe you are not really important to him. It's like you don't even exist! Sometimes you would give anything to have him listen and understand, even if it's for just a short time. He doesn't have to do anything you say to yourself. And in reality, if he would only listen you would give up on the idea of understanding. He just doesn't appear to connect!
Have you ever thought that the key to having your "guy" listen and understand what you are saying may be connected to how well you understand how he actually functions, as a man that is…not a mate.
Well, it may be to your benefit to give it some consideration.
What if you experienced the relationship world from his perspective?
Maybe, if you understood how he functions and perceives information you could get closer to the relationship you really wanted. Simply put, it is a lot easier to be heard when you know how the other perceives and processes information. So what do we know about men and their ability to communicate and the language they use?
You notice I did not say understand. Ok, you're right, they don't. Communicate that is, at least in the manner in which you want and readily understand.
Have you ever thought the answer may lie within the manner in which information is funneled and in the manner in which one typically understands…. Ok, what am I trying to say? The bottom line; "Yes, men and women are different…." Ok, I've said it… Lightening did not come down from the sky and no androgenous being has pushed through the door beating me.
Though that might prove interesting…. That's a story for yet another time…. Remind me….
Now what about the allusive male? Are we that difficult to understand or are we just not all that complicated? Maybe we are just guys and you are just gals. Ok, men and women… I would hate to have anyone say I was "sexist". Then again….maybe we all should be more comfortable with being male and female, coming to grips with how we are alike as well as how we are different. But that, again, is for another time… Promise!
So where is all this leading? First of all, you are going to have to recognize that most of the male species can only process about one direction at a time…. No, it does not mean we can not multitask but it does mean you don't want to tell him to do two or three tasks at once…. Ask any women who has been married for over twenty years. It doesn't matter if you are in bed or in the kitchen…. One direction at a time….
"Honey, would you please get up, go into the bedroom and get my robe? Oh, while you're at it can you bring me the aspirin in the bathroom too." WRONG….. Especially if he is already engaged in a task of his own. If you want your directions completed, in the bedroom or the kitchen, remember, one request at a time….
Stay away from the two, three and four part request you are use to. And if he is already engaged, wait until he is not preoccupied. Or at least get his attention before you make the request. No, it's not that we don't want to pay attention or don't want to please you. It's how we process information, even in the bedroom. So let him finish one thing before you begin him on another.
I know, you're not too sure about all this but if you are questioning any of it ask him… He will tell you it is not that far from the truth…. And yes, we will continue with Part Two next time…
As usual, It's a choice…. But don't take my word for it.. Deep down you too know it's true…. Take some time to see things from the point in which he views.. You may be glad you did.
So until next time… It just maybe be simpler and less complicated than you think…