Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Kissing: What Does It Really Tell – Pleasure or Science…

Now I know I am not telling most of you something new. Especially the female gender out there… Kissing, tells…. And it tells a lot. Many find kissing more intimate than intercourse… More personal, more telling, more relaxing and more exciting…
A prelude to what is to come or NOT.

A kiss, is it social, political, biological, or just plain pleasurable? Whether one or all it is something that is cross-cultural. Kissing, in its various forms, can be found in over 90% of the worlds cultures and it very likely predates recorded history…. There must be something to it, this kissing thing.

I find it interesting that you can pay for sex, any kind of sex but a kiss is something one gives away. A gift, a mutual pleasure, even a test…. Yes, a test. A kiss is not just a prelude to sex and it is not just an activity to “get your motor running”. When one gives and receives a kiss, you are passing on vital genetic information. Not only are you picking up temperament and techniques, you are picking up and assessing if the other will become a good mate - a good father or a good mother. You are passing on genetic information and stimulating the brain. Getting weak in the knees and having your heart skip a few beats is just a bonus.

Medical anthropologists say that kissing is a part of the “biological mechanics” of choosing mates. It is called philematology. The science of kissing…. Now, how many of you have a PhD in that and you are not even anthropologists? Ok, way too much personal information. Let’s just keep this to science, or NOT.

The "escalation of osculation", or the rise of kissing is documented in art throughout the world and we can follow it back through the centuries. Kissing has even found its way into social graces of societies and politics; always assessing information and in turn, helping us make decisions. Politics, social graces, or mate selection, kissing became more and more important. Like other important things we tend to trivialize, kissing now has become an activity we place little emphasis on but highly praise. Yet, its benefits remain the same.

The brain is hard at work while the lips get all the glory and most of the fun… Kissing stimulates mirror neurons in the brain whose job is to produce empathy and reduce inhibition…. Mmmmm, now that’s an interesting factoid…How would one use that information on a hot date?

Now for you players out there, don’t get all excited as a kiss also releases and exchanges brain chemistry hormones such as cortisol; a stress related hormone as well as another hormone oxytocin, a chemical related to bonding. So, if you are just interested in getting laid and disbursing sperm, this “kiss” may not be your friend. Yet again, a “kiss”, if done “right”, may just get you laid…. I know - difficult decisions.

Does kissing affect men and women the same? What do we know? Scientifically that is.

Well, we know that women kiss to assess a man’s health as well as to preserve and maintain a relationship, while men place less importance on the kiss and are more likely to use it to end a quarrel, fain affection, get forgiveness, or increase his likelihood of getting laid. Men are twice as likely to have sex with a bad kisser, while women will assess the kiss and determine if she will stay or kiss again.

The consequence; guys if you are a bad kisser your chances of getting “lucky” sharply decline. Now remember, it is not only technique, it is also genetics… Like “secret agents”, you are passing on vital cryptic information. Homeland security is going to have a ball with this.

I can see the headlines now…A Nation Under Siege. Security Compromised…. Confidentiality And Identity At Risk… Lip Lockers Land 15 To Life… Legislation To Follow National Security Breach…

Ok, back to reality or at least a semblance of it.

If you may remember from previous blogs, we have discussed how staring at women’s breasts can reduce stress for men, lowering their blood pressure and decreasing the risk for hypertension. Kissing, we find, may have stress reducing properties as well but only evident in committed relationships. Where kissing can increase your pulse rate and stimulate certain areas of your body in NEW relationships, it can sooth the soul and lower the heart rate in committed ones.

It is interesting that in studies where groups were to kiss for 15 minutes and others were to talk for 15 minutes - no kissing allowed… Subjects found it much easier to kiss than to talk…. It appears sustained kissing reduced tension while talking may have increased it, in turn making it harder to sustain. It was also easier to find subjects for the kissing group than the talking group… Go figure huh?

It appears it is time to haul it in, loosen the cinch and go for a rub down…. No, I am talking about a horse but I am not opposed to the other either. Not all wrangles waved good-bye to the girl, kissed the horse, and rode off into the sunset…

As for kisses, maybe we need to be more exclusive or then again, maybe we need to be more adventurous. The more information the better choices we have…. I cannot think of a better way to gather information.

As usual, it is all about choice. I have made mine…. Have you made yours? I have stolen a few, been given a lot, and returned many but I never kiss and tell…. That’s not about genetics or choice. It’s all about character….

Until later, this reservation recluse has some fieldwork to do…Lip-gloss maybe; it could be a good topic…the flavorful kind…. Double blind study with independent variables.

MMMM… This could be interesting as well as stress reducing…

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

All About Orgasms Part Two - How To Get There & When To Get Off

Or Teaching Him New Tricks Doesn’t Have To Be A Chore!

Alright… another week has passed and you’ve practiced…. Well, at least some of you have. You have learned that your body does respond to touch and that you do have different sensations from different stimulations. You may also have accidently triggered an orgasm and now want to re-experience it… That’s a good! You now know what it feels like leading up to, during and after the “trigger”… You also know what your body looks like and feels like…. Like Christopher Columbus, you may have discovered a whole “New World”, or at least thought you have….

Dear Ole Chris wasn’t really the first either…. But that’s OK. You now know how to get there because you have been there. You’ve done it once, you can do it again and maybe next time, take someone else along for the “ride”. If you have just reacquainted yourself with an ole friend, that’s OK too. The two of you have lots of catching up to do….

Due to the mythological nature of the Beast, some search for the Big “O” like a favorite vacation spot.

Unlike many successful activities, you don’t want to make having an Orgasm a goal related task. The idea is to relax and enjoy the trek, not find missing treasure... The purpose is to enhance pleasure through stimulation and body exploration, not make “one” orgasm. Ok, for some it is but just “bare” with me if you will. Just keep the excitement and realize if orgasm is made a goal it is less likely to happen, whether flying solo or tandem. The mind is one of the most important eroginous zones and needs to be left unfettered. So relax. Take it easy, explore and enjoy. The process will take you there and the Treasure you will CUM across will “rock you world”.

Now that you have “experienced YOU”, what about HIM? Here it is a little tricky but like we said in the beginning, “teaching him new tricks doesn’t have to be a chore”. It can even be a little fun.

The first thing that male partners have to learn is that penetration, in and of itself, does not achieve this goal and with penetration it is as much in the slow release as in the forceful push; maybe even more. Although the penetration, if done right, can massage the G Spot it does nothing specific for the clitoris. Here you want to increase the pressure exerted on the clitoris by rotating your hips as if in a “grind”.

No, it’s not a race to the finish line or another lap around the gym. Think more like an adolescent, when sex was always on your mind and just sitting next to her made your heart skip a few beats and your “member” jump to the rhythm of the band, let alone come to full attention when she licked her bottom lip... Got it? Ok, now add a dash of romance, a slow touch, a firm hand and focus on HER, not YOU. I know, for some this is going to be really difficult….

Let’s take a small trip back through time. Feel the excitement? No, not that far back when you first discovered what Blue Balls were…. That was all about you wanting to get your “rocks” off and not about her at all! Well, visualize a little more. You can get there… Steady…. She has been there since the beginning… You have to catch up but not rush things…. Remember, “Romance”. This is not the time you fantasize her wanting to be “taken” and you just happen to be the one she chooses…. Remember it is not all about penetration! Ok, so what the HELL is it? Hey, don’t blow a gasket… Take it easy….

Guys, it’s similar to the “dry humping” you use to do before you had the guts to remove her cloths…. Adolescence 101… Remember? Ok…. Got it….. That’s right. You push against her mound with the area just above the penis... Rocking back and forth and side to side… Remember… Nickel, dime, penny, quarter…..? The goal is to stimulate the clitoris before, during and after each stroke. It might take a little coordination but if you can “walk and chew gum at the same time” you can do this…. Besides, the payoff is much better and therefore self rewarding.

We have talked about positions before when discussing the G Spot and yes, we need to do it again… There are many positions out there and exploration is all part of the fun but let’s look at two or three to start with… they are designed to produce good results when accomplished successfully.. The key, as always, is practice.

Ride Cowgirl Ride: We talked about it in G Spot stimulation and is also worthy of discussion here. With the female sitting on top the male should be on his back, his stomach muscles tightened and his pelvis in an upward tilt.. The purpose is to have his back arched. This will improve the quality of the “grind” while he is in full penetration while he then stimulates the clitoris with his thumb...

To accomplish this, he has to put his hand over her pubic area, with his thumb directly over her clitoris. With his back ached, she will then be able to “ride” her partner while he stimulates her clitoris. For her, a slow rocking, mechanical bull riding, effect is good to start. This places her in full control, helping her reach her total potential while he assists…. You’ve seen it in the movies. It looks as good on screen as it feels at home…… You may even get those beads of perspiration which drip off her breasts and on to his chest….

“Right” Angle-T Square or Carpenters Special: This position leads for deeper penetration while leaving the clitoris open for manual stimulation. For this to work, the woman has to lie on her back with her legs raised and slightly apart. More of a traditional invitation... Here it starts to deviate… Instead of falling into the same ole routine the male needs to lie perpendicular to the female, forming a “right angle” a T. He will need to rotate his body so that his “member” is facing the “mother lode”. Got that?

I hope so…. Next, she needs to lower her legs so they form an archway. Now it’s his turn to go “spelunking” and to continue the penetration into the obis the regular way… Depending on the female’s flexibility, this can lead to deeper penetration while leaving the clitoris open for manual stimulation. If accomplished, this can lead to the big “O” quite quickly.

The Enhancer – or Clity Clity Bang Bang: This position is to enhance or maximize clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It’s best performed while the female lies on her back with her legs held tightly together. Her partner should be kneeling or standing in front of her, at a slight diagonal, while she places both legs over one of his shoulders or on one side of his body if he is lying down. He then begins penetration.

This is most easily performed with the male standing and with her legs hanging off a couch, bed or counter. Yes, a variety of rooms. For variation, a Kitchen, Living room, or Bedroom can be easily explored…. The different rooms leading to enhanced excitement and the props are usually built right in. From private to more public depending on how much on the “edge” you want to be.

For the more adventurous and less shy, there are Sexual Toys that can be purchased at any legitimate erotic store. Either experienced solo or with partners, these toys can add the excitement and stimulation needed to either “capture or tame” the allusive Big “O”. For those who are looking for a more tradtional and functional performing device, a regular vibrator can be purchased. They come is a variety of colors, sizes, shapes and purposes. They can be used during intercourse to stimulate a variety of eroginus zones as well as used to stimulate the clitoris or even the G Spot to trigger an orgasm. For the more courageous anal insertion is also an option….

For direct stimulation and enhanced “O”, many find what is routinely called a “vibrating clitoral sucker” to be their choice. And no, his name is not “Ramone” or hers “Roberta”…. Although with practice even they can learn to orally stimulate and who knows, with your guidance, they may even vibrate…

With this device, the cup part needs to be placed over the clitoral area and squeezed a couple of times. This builds up the suction and attaches the device to the body. You then turn on the vibrating egg which is attached to the top of the cup. The suction draws blood into the clitoris, which makes it more sensitive. It also frees up your hands to use in other exploratory ways. Although a little bulky, this device does not have to be used “sole”. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensation to an already enjoyable time.

There is also a tiny “finger stimulator” which placed one the end of the finger does wonders for a quick pick me up.

Ok, now we have covered the two primary “hot” spots for orgasms. Like anything new it takes training and one always get better with practice. Remember 1) it is not a destination, 2) the mind is the most powerful tool, 3) self exploration is vital and 4) go explore new territory, and it’s worth the effort.

Now, the choice is yours as always. This may not be for you but what do you have to lose anyway? You may even gain new friends and better lovers….

So until next time, there is really No Excuse. You deserve something “special”…. And it is the beginning of a NEW YEAR!

Keep in mind, the Big “O” is not the goal. It is the reward. So go ahead and try something new. Put some “play” back into your sex life… Or better yet, put some Life into your Sex. It’s all about fun, play, pleasure, excitement, trust, romance and respect; at least for the moment….. If you have someone you want to keep around for awhile that’s better yet. You might even want to throw in some compassion and love…. Trust me, it’s worth it….

Now, I think it’s time for this Reservation Recluse to call it in… Let me know how you fare and if any of this works for you… I think you will find the exercise rewarding if nothing else…. So until next time when the topic is Dominance in Men and Attraction… It’s time to make a choice…. Shall you or shan’t you? I think you shall….

Bear in mind, it’s not about the ride as much as it is in picking the right horse and taking a deep seat in the saddle. AS the saying goes, “Save a horse, Ride _ ______!”

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Reservation Recluse And Good Wine

I almost hate to admit this but the other day I was sitting in my favorite “Quarry”, enjoying a Long Meadow Ranch Cabernet; a 2004 vintage to be exact. It is a deep red, berrylicioius, as they say, organically grown grape from St. Helena, California. I was thinking of the Espresso-Rubbed Prime Rib that my good friend Chef Marc so eloquently prepares; a wake up to ones pallet that only “an experience” can accurately describe.


Valentines Day was close approaching and my thoughts drifted to fine dinning, fine wine and good company. Now understand, I am first and foremost a Reservation Recluse and impressing a young lady with the appropriate manners of wine selection was never a priority. Then I remembered how I felt when the only etiquette I knew was in the fine art of twisting the cap off of a bottle of MD 20/20 and the embarrassment that flooded over me when a waiter wanted me to sniff the cork and taste the wine. Yes, waiter. That should give you some hint and the cork? Well, I would much rather have told him where he could put it than smell it. This trip through memory lane made me question. Maybe there were others out there that needed just a little help to save them from awkward embarrassing moments as well.

That stated; here is a crash course on Wine Tasting; at least enough to get you past the tough spots and let you concentrate on wiping the drip spots off your Levis and the gravy off your chin…

Your Wine Steward should be able to help you with the selection best suited for your meal, so no real embarrassment there. Just go with the flow. The bottle neck comes when your Steward brings you the selected bottle, presents the label and pours you a sample of this precious nectar? Now What? No, you don’t down it like a double shot of your favorite tequila while your eyes water and your mouth forms the word Gooooooooooood!

Now pay attention… You don’t need to know everything but you do need to know something to get by.

Once presented:

Hold your wine glass by the stem---as etiquette dictates--- (in the US most wine is not served in a table glass) and hold it up to the light. This will allow you to check for brightness, clarity and color. Is this wine bright or dull and is it clear or cloudy? Is the color more like straw or water? Is it a ruby red, deep burgundy or a delicate pink? It is here you LOOK. Take your time but not too long. She is to be appreciated not victimized.

Then you tip the glass slightly to check for rim variation –the contrast between the color of the wine in the middle and the color at the edges. The more white around the rim, the cheaper the wine . Rim variations is a way for a wine drinker to test the quality of the wine. To check the rim variation, hold the glass up to a light or use a white background to see the size of color variation around the rim of the body of wine. The less variation , the better the wine. Explain this mater of factly and you will give the appearance to your companion you KNOW what you are talking about and are an individual with some knowledge other than sports scores. Don’t be afraid to hold the glass in front of you but not so far you can not appreciate what you see.

Next comes the swirling. Gently rotate your wrist and the wine rolls around the glass. Swirling aerates the wine and also reveals the legs. You might say, “This wine has fast legs.” Which is another way to say that the wine doesn’t have a lot of sugar and thus not a lot of alcohol. You’ll get your point across to the wine Stewart and he will assume you know your wines. Now, if the only legs you know about are connected to your date? Better not comment, just swirl….

Next you stick your nose, a la “Sideways,” into your tasting glass. This way you do not drown nor do you end up with the Merlot gracing the tip of your nose. Now is it’s time to verify, by smell, what you saw. You inhale and determine if it reminds you of a bouquet of violets or a compost heap. Does it smell like a barnyard or freshly chopped firewood, neither? Or maybe you detect a hint of vanilla, coconut or toast.

Finally, you declare, “This white wine smells like petroleum and green peppers.” Which isn’t necessarily an insult and may, in fact, impress the winery representative. You might even consider announcing, when you move on the reds, “This Merlot reminds me of melting road tar.” That will really impress them but it is yet a story for another time.

Then the most important part---the tasting. Now that you have the wine in your mouth, you taste whether what you saw and smelled tastes pretty good, as well. You might detect a woody flavor or a peppery taste. You may detect a hint of blackberry. Does the wine make your tongue duck for cover under your teeth or does it feel like a favorite sweater for your mouth? How long does the flavor linger? Like a long visit from you in-laws or a fleeting glimpse of Matthew McConaughey or Kate Hudson? Is it exciting or just something you want to get over?

Tasting is all about uncovering what it is about a wine that you like, what makes it likable. It’s kind of like the difference between knowing what you like and liking what you know. If you take the time to educate yourself you will find the difference and as with everything else there is a way in which discernment is made easier. It is a quest that can lead you all over the world or right next door.

We have covered the grape but what about the vessel it is served in?

Glasses are important for wine tasting and or drinking. There are wine glasses for each type of wine; pinot noir, cabernet/merlot, Syrah/Shiraz, etc. They differ in their bowl and as well as aperture sizes. If it’s leaded glass, even better, because the lead interacts with the tannins to break them down, which is something you want to do to prevent a really bad hangover. J A good wine glass is designed to perfectly place the wine on the palate.

Now you have the tools to use even if you don’t like wine… go for three fingers of good bourbon instead… Knowing how to taste does not mean you have to DRINK…

Until next time….. Bon Appetite!

Ahhh… at the end try a Cognac.. Bowen V.S.O.P. Appellation Cognac Contrôlée…. is a good start. Yes, it comes from France but don’t hold that against it. You will find a pleasant surprise. And your pallet? Slightly more educated.

Valentine’s Day – Love, Romance or NASCAR

In either case, it is in the opportunity to become involved that is important and today is one of those days that “opportunity” is made for… Be it Romance or the Daytona 500, February 14 is a day to enjoy…

Ok, so it is just a little T and T - “tacky and tasteless” but the thought is there nonetheless. And yes, intention is important. Without it, motivation just sits there and we do nothing… Letting opportunities to enjoy or express our “intentions” pass for yet another time or another day.

When is the last time you had “intentions” or have you gotten so callous or use to your current situation that you no longer take the risk to reap the benefits? I know, it takes energy and lately you have had little of it. You have been focused on your work, on your kids, building your business or on why you are spending too many evenings and weekends alone. You may have forgotten what it was like to get out of your comfort zone and express your intentions.

Today can be a day to let another know that you care and they are important to you - a day to get out of YOU and into another; not just a time to do the same ole same ole that you have been doing these past few months.

If you are one of the few true Romantics left, you have already felt the excitement of today and the “flush” of what may be to come. If not, today maybe just the day to begin.

When I think of Valentine’s Day, I think of Diamonds and Chocolate. No, I am not suggesting you run out to “Jared’s” or that you purchase a truckload of “Russell Stover’s”. I am talking about what they represent. They are “special” - something out of the ordinary, unless your lifestyle leads to Diamonds and Chocolate on a daily basis.

If you have paid attention to some of the “weird” news out there you will find that in anticipation of today, some Texas Growers are marketing that Watermelon “may” have a “Viagra” effect. This, right after a young man from Georgia claimed that his favorite masturbation technique was using sun-baked watermelons. Oh, not a good visual image… I wonder if it has to be seedless… Before or after? OK, T and T – tacky and tasteless…. No pun intended….

Now, it is not that I don’t like Watermelon… it does have its merits but not in the above categories… and NO, I have not tried it but there is no scientific evidence that points to either being correct; at least that this Reservation Recluse can find.

Watermelon does contain citrulline that transforms into an amino acid, which is involved in nitric oxide synthesis. A synthesis, which is a primary player in making Woody, woody, but it is not all that simple…. Just like being “nice” to someone doesn’t mean you love or even like them. It is more complicated than that. Therefore, unless you just want to make frequent trips to the bathroom, watermelon is not your answer…. Then again, who am I to pass judgment on your taste or your practices…?

Now, Diamonds speak for themselves… I have never known anyone who doesn’t like them and , dressing your favorite gall in something silky with an accent of a class “D” diamond will get Woody’s attention faster than anything I know. Kick it off with some hand feed Swiss Chocolate and it may even get you laid…

Ok, that was a huge statement. Is there scientific evidence to this or is it anecdotal as well? Well, we know that Dark Chocolate has multiple health benefits. It is rich in antioxcidants, which have been proven to improve heart health. It can also decrease blood pressure and lower the risk of diabetes in healthy individuals. Dark chocolate has been known to reduce C - reactive protein which is an indicator of inflammation in the body, hence dark chocolate may also have anti-inflammatory benefits…. To kick it all off, Dark Chocolate keeps you feeling full longer. That translates into eating less with a reduced craving for fatty, salty, and sweet foods. Not bad huh?

Now, turn down the lights... Put on some soft, caressing music… open a bottle of your favorite wine …dip 3-5 strawberry’s in dark chocolate and gently let her lick the chocolate off the berry… feeding her slowly, biting softly, letting the juices tease her tastes and play with her senses….

Let me know if your get through the five dipped berries…

Not too scientific but today I think it is the research that really counts….

This reservation Recluse is going to the market… No, not watermelon… Berries and Dark Chocolate… I already have the wine…

As usual, it is a choice… As you can see, I’ve made mine…. Go make yours… It’s all about intention and expression…. The risk? I am not sure if I see any….

Until later…. Enjoy today… It only hangs around once a year….

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

ALL ABOUT ORGASMS - PART ONE

How To Get There

Or When To Get Off
Ok, you’re asking yourself, “What does he know?” “He’s a guy for God’s sake….” Well, you’re right. I am a guy and no, God has nothing to do with it… But with a little bit of exploration and experimentation, even guys can gain a little knowledge… Besides, it’s close to the NEW YEAR. What a better way to “Faze” out the old and “Ring” in the NEW! You’ve heard of “ringing your chimes” or “having your bell rung”? Believe me it has nothing to do with the Holiday Spirit. Then again?

Recently I have been asked to talk more about sex, so I thought, “Cum and Go”, “Bells and Chimes” mmmmm maybe, just maybe….. As a New Year Comes, an old one Goes…. So be it with other things as well.

So what do we know about “Chime Ringing” or the allusive “Big O”?

Well, we know there are two major types of Orgasms women have and as some things “Cum and Go”, so do Orgasms. No, we are not talking about mini-marts and the gas stations one sees around Montana and Wyoming. They are spelled with a “K” and what you get when you are finished with the “pump” is just gas… No, not the intestinal track stuff... No, not the big “O” either…. Just Fuel!

So we are straight, right? Then again maybe that is not the right word to use either for it doesn’t really matter. Orgasms do not differentiate between sexual preferences or whether you are solo, tandem or having a party.

Ok, so you’re “at the pump” and you’re picking your “octane”…. You typically have two different types to choose from, Clitoral or G Spot…. You’ve more than likely heard of these as “vaginal orgasms” and yes you are right, there are different “hot” spots or “erogenous zones” but we can cover those at another time. The “G Spot” we covered, in depth, a while back if you remember… 1) How to find it and 2) What to do with it once you’ve found it. And yes, it is OK to refresh your memory. Go back if you have to.

Now, how to make the Clitoris pay dividends? Ok, these are economic HARD times… No pun intended….

Intercourse, in and of itself, does not guarantee Orgasm. Alright, you already knew this… No huge surprise……. You may have experienced it? Ok, you have experienced it! I was just giving you the benefit of the doubt…. No need to take offense… Good…. Now what? What about plain ole F-----g?

Coitus, in and of itself can be one of the most awkward ways to stimulate a woman and it leaves a whole universe out there untapped. “What?” you say. It’s not just push and pump….? Universe? Exploration? It sounds more like Battle Star Galactica than “hooken up” and “Coitus Interrupt-us” isn’t where we want to go either.

One of the first things a person needs to know is that being aware of one’s own body is vital, especially when it comes to the Big “O”. As boys, men learn the pleasures of masturbation and quickly discover that “self abuse” is not really abuse after all. Further study promptly displaces the blindness theory as well. With girls it is not as obvious. Self exploration is not as readily explored and guilt is often attached. Consequently orgasms can be and to some, are allusive.

Exploring one’s own body and being aware of its pleasures is essential to Orgasm. It is in this exploration and masturbation that many women find the magic button and get themselves off, for the first time, by clitoral stimulation. Many women find they are unable to climax during traditional sex because they are not fully aware of their different vaginal sensations. They are not familiar with the variety of stimulations available to enjoy the effects to the fullest extent. They leave another Universe, of vaginal sensation, untapped.

If left unaware due to the failure to self explore, how can one communicate to their partner what is pleasurable or what they want? How can they find and enhance what truly gives them pleasure? In other words what you don’t know you can’t share. And as far as “interrupt-us” goes let’s not even get started….. Leaving it to your partner to guide you through this is like letting a two year old pick out your transportation…. This is something you need to take control of….

Mutual exploration is fun and erotic but if you are going to put yourself in someone’s “hands” don’t let it be All State… You are better off in YOUR OWN, at least to begin with; then try taking the “Solo” “Tandem”. It’s worth the effort…..

Vital as it is to learn to read you and your partner’s erotic pleasure signs, it is also important to ask questions when exploring new areas or new sexual techniques. What? Run that by me one more time…

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down traditional intercourse or “getting laid”. It is and can be very erotic, emotionally stimulating and very arousing but compared to the degree of stimulation to the clitoris by oral sex and masturbation, it can be left wanting. Yes, “dinning out” and traditional “finger foods” can lead to a more direct “Story of O”. Combinations of the three can lead to an “epic movie”.

Incorporating manual stimulation, while at the “pump”, can intensify ones arousal and trigger an orgasm just as well as correctly hitting and stroking the G spot can. True, no one really wants to study Geometry during intercourse but as we talked about before, knowing what positions stimulate the G Spot will help achieve Orgasm and heighten arousal responses. Combinations of the two can “Rock her World”.

So until next time, it’s time to practice…. And as they say in my part of the world: Save a horse. “Ride a Cowboy”……

This Reservation Recluse has some “field work” to do …. We will get into the mechanics of that next time…..

As always, it’s a choice….. I’ve made mine… Now go make yours…..