Friday, June 8, 2012

Want - Need - Desire

The want to connect, the need to touch and be touched with the driving desire to f**k.

These are three of the major ingredients for passion that are held together by imagination and the instinct for selective risk…. Is this what makes one attracted to another?

With men, such a combination often triggers their need to protect, coupled with their need to breed. It is a combination, which many would say is instinctual. Some argue that it is not a need but an instinct. Some may call it manipulative. I call it natural. In this age of political correctness and asexual beings, it is something many are afraid to admit and few address.

He finds himself fully aware of her essence. The way she moves, the way she smells. The manner in which her eyes play with his, her smile. She moves her body in feline movements, seductively, with purpose and control - the rhythm of her moment defining the existence of the hour.

Held captive by her touch, he senses the warmth of her skin and the softness of her body. She nestles within the safety of his arms. He is lost in the moment of time. Rules define the moment, her rules. She demands he take control, knowing that he can’t or won’t. It is not in the definition, it breaks the instinct. It manipulates the need. It reduces the desire….

Yet, it fuels the passion and the fantasy.

Fantasy, the picture that is played out within one’s mind, the seductive pull of its gravitational force makes it difficult to resist. It is the experience where you are the center of the universe. You are the main character and the center stage.

Our need to be valued and being the center of interest is vital. If even for a few short minutes, reality can transform into a moment of fulfillment and for many it is enough. It does not matter if it is exercised in the Bedroom, the Boardroom of a Corporate Office or the VIP room of a Gentleman’s Club. We pay the price for that acknowledgement and attention. For that moment, it is real. For that moment, it is enough.

We all pay the price of admission. The price is high but often worth it. “We all need to be “Center Stage” at some Time and to Someone”.

The allusion of this dance seldom sustains us for long. If we extend our stay, it takes its toll and begins to drain the energy from us, until we become less than. We become a shell, functioning but with little energy and little real life. We perform. We function. We exist. We have all been there. We just have to admit it. Maybe we are there now, the passion gone.

Whether this dance is played out within Romantic Relationships, Career Moves, or the Work we have to do to get through the night, we sacrifice in order to make a better Day. In our mind, we make justifications and these justifications become real. They are just hollow. They are dangerous.

So, to what extent do we sacrifice our intentions for our desires? And are our desires enough to sustain our passion - the want, the need, the desire? … Primal or developed, at what interval do we stop the merry-go-round and decide to get off. At what juncture do we decide to stay? If it truly is about our wants, needs and desires, at what point do we go outside of ourselves and think of others.

The common denominator in this is “you”.

The common denominator is “you”, but none of it can be accomplished in a vacuum. It is all about the interchange with another, our wants, our needs, our desires. We tend to understand this in terms of Romantic Relationships and even in some fashion with Careers, but what happens when it falls outside these two boundaries or definitions?

In our search for understanding, connectedness, and value, do we discredit ourselves by not fully exploring “possibilities”? Are we afraid we will fall back into old patterns and entrapments? Are we afraid to lose the “reality” of the “fantasy”, even if it is for length of a 3-minute interlude? Are we afraid of what others might say or how others may interpret our intentions. After all, we have talked before on how it is all about perception…

I think it boils down to sensuality and making peace with being a man or a woman. It comes down to being comfortable within your own skin and coming face to face with your own wants, needs, and desires. Maybe it comes down to Passion, and doing so with all the Masculinity and Femininity you have. Maybe that’s all we really have. Maybe it’s all we really have to offer. Maybe it’s all we really have to get.

So, the next time you come face to face with your Wants, Needs, and Desires, take the time to fully explore the consequences. Maybe it’s time we become less afraid, maybe it’s time to take more risks. Maybe it’s time to take charge of who we are so we can embrace who we are becoming.

Maybe it’s time to stop forcing ourselves to do or be someone we no longer want to be because of the choices we have made, which no longer govern what we will continue to do. Maybe it’s time to see ourselves as vital and worth the value a chance encounter might give to you. Maybe it’s time to accept the “gift” with no strings, just because of who we are. Maybe just being ourselves is gift enough and that connectedness, that touch, that desire, is truly enough. Maybe, it is enough for you to take a chance. The chance to step outside ones comfort zone and risk growth. Maybe, you already have.

As I have stated, this can be applied to most anything. All we have, to take to the “game”, is ourselves. I happen to think it is enough....

I have come across individuals, in my life, who have become important to me… For no other reason than who they are. They have touched a chord and triggered a want, a need and a desire… I have met others. In the least expected places and at the least expected times, people do immerge in one’s life. It is my turn to say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to see the vulnerability in you that keeps me in touch with me… my wants, my needs, my desires

If we keep ourselves open to these encounters, we find unexpected gains…. The honor is all mine. The gift, YOU.

Moments in time, taken without expectation are all fulfilling; Yesterday, only a prelude for today and today, solid enough to build Tomorrow.

This Reservation Recluse had better call it quits. Too much makes too little sense and if it doesn’t, maybe we are both in trouble. So as usual, it is a choice… What do you think? It is time to make yours? Have you already? Do you have the Want, the Need, the Desire? Are you willing to take that next step? Let me know what you think.

So until next time…. Like the song says, “Tequila makes her cloths fall off”. "Jose you are a friend of mine"… Ok… maybe not but it’s a thought… No want, No need, No desire… Just Reaction?

Maybe a discussion for next time….

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