Tuesday, June 19, 2012

A Time To Reflect, A Time To Develop, A Time To Become

Or Stories, The Basis Of Who We Are.


As many of you know, I have asked for input from these writings.

You have responded and I truly appreciate the variety of responses I have gotten. Many have been reflective. Some have been instructive but I found the following to be most compelling .

I often talk about Thriving rather than just Surviving and the importance of telling ones STORY. The following falls into that category.  Story telling.......

The healing aspect of one’s story develops as it is told, confronted and internalized; while doing so, gaining strength from its telling.

One young woman asked, “But how do we know what the "right" story is?  And we, who are victimized by depression and rejection, often wonder if we even have a story!"  She continued, “Warriors are ones who are brave, courageous, and winners of the game! You say were all Warriors in some way! But how am I a Warrior, if instead of  defeating the game... The game always defeats me?!”

She asks a relevant question.  A question many ask as life and situations develop; contrary to what the individual intended or how they desired them to be.

We focus on acquirement, whether be it things, destinations, relationships, or even emotional continence. In doing so the game conquers, leaving us defeated. It is difficult to remember; it is not in the “game” but in the “story” that one Thrives…

Yes, everyone has a story and yes, everyone is a Warrior but a Warrior is not always traditional in bravery and courage... most of the time a Warrior is frightened as hell but does the "right" thing at the “right” time... and in that, tells the "right" story...

It is in the Story that one is defeated by the game or not.  It is in the Story, one Thrives. The Story of struggle and the gain, instead of the Story of defeat and despair.... We frame who we are around the "Stories" we tell... and in turn, our “Stories” define us.

I am not talking about any “Story”. I am not talking about fleeting fantasies. I am not talking about “Stories” you want one moment and are gone the next. I am not talking about a Friday Night pick up at the local bar.

I am talking about developing “Who” you are and “How” you frames your stature. I am talking about your Story.  Your life!

It is important that your story is "truthful".  The truth is necessary to gain the strength needed to put you on top of the struggle. In that sense, it does not matter if you find yourself on TOP of the heap. It is the struggle, not the heap that matters...  It is all in the "story".

The “real” story is in defining the “Who” rather than the “What”.

In the midst of the Reservation, the elders use to talk about the “Walk Of The Warrior”; in that, the Story was always told and from the Story, “Healing”. It did not matter “What” happened or "What" circumstance befell you, it mattered “Who” you were and "Who" you were to become.  You gained strength from the “Story” and that, ever changing, was in one’s own power and destiny to control.

You were given a new name in the celebration of your Story and your becoming ONE. It was powerful in  “old ways and traditions”. It remains powerful today. It was in the “Story” one became.  It was in the "Story" one healed and in that, becoming defined.

The past no longer defining, “Who” you were.  The past no longer defining “Who” you were to become.

It is in the "becoming" we thrive...  It is in "thriving" we become real...

The real you is what's left when all the "pulling" voices go away; the voices from peers, media, and dysfunctional family rules. It is from that inner beauty and strength we gain our compassion and energy to continue... It is in the Story of the “circumstances” and the "struggle" that we gain strength.

In these days of uncertainty, economical strife and emotional devastation, we all need to find our “story” and we need to tell it…. Instead, we are often pulled to tell the story of  circumstance. The story of loss and despair.  In doing so, we are defeated. We create a self-fulfilling prophecy of struggle with no end, then defeat. 

We focus on the what, rather than the how and forcus on what was rather than how it can be...  It is here we give into the "victim".  Losing our strength, we build a prison of dispair and a loss of hope....  We bcome what was, rather than what will be....

Now, more than ever, we need the strength that telling “ones story” can bring. Not just the circumstance. I understand, it is a fine line…. The perception of a cup half-full or half-empty but the truth is, you have the power to tell your story. You have the power to view from a different point... You may even have the duty to do it.

I know you have the strength….

So now, as usual, you have a choice to make…. Maybe, you already have and maybe, you have been telling your story for some time. If you have, you understand what I am talking about. If not, give it a try. I believe you will find your “story” and its strength worth your while.

Until next time…. As you find yourself sitting around the campfire, the night air crisp and stars bright, remember not all things that live in the night are to be afraid of and remember, most fear is bred out of uncertainty and distorted “stories”.


We all have a story to tell…. Isn’t it time to tell yours.  Isn't it time to believe in YOU?

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