Wednesday, February 19, 2014

All About Orgasms Part Two - How To Get There & When To Get Off

Or Teaching Him New Tricks Doesn’t Have To Be A Chore!

Alright… another week has passed and you’ve practiced…. Well, at least some of you have. You have learned that your body does respond to touch and that you do have different sensations from different stimulations. You may also have accidently triggered an orgasm and now want to re-experience it… That’s a good! You now know what it feels like leading up to, during and after the “trigger”… You also know what your body looks like and feels like…. Like Christopher Columbus, you may have discovered a whole “New World”, or at least thought you have….

Dear Ole Chris wasn’t really the first either…. But that’s OK. You now know how to get there because you have been there. You’ve done it once, you can do it again and maybe next time, take someone else along for the “ride”. If you have just reacquainted yourself with an ole friend, that’s OK too. The two of you have lots of catching up to do….

Due to the mythological nature of the Beast, some search for the Big “O” like a favorite vacation spot.

Unlike many successful activities, you don’t want to make having an Orgasm a goal related task. The idea is to relax and enjoy the trek, not find missing treasure... The purpose is to enhance pleasure through stimulation and body exploration, not make “one” orgasm. Ok, for some it is but just “bare” with me if you will. Just keep the excitement and realize if orgasm is made a goal it is less likely to happen, whether flying solo or tandem. The mind is one of the most important eroginous zones and needs to be left unfettered. So relax. Take it easy, explore and enjoy. The process will take you there and the Treasure you will CUM across will “rock you world”.

Now that you have “experienced YOU”, what about HIM? Here it is a little tricky but like we said in the beginning, “teaching him new tricks doesn’t have to be a chore”. It can even be a little fun.

The first thing that male partners have to learn is that penetration, in and of itself, does not achieve this goal and with penetration it is as much in the slow release as in the forceful push; maybe even more. Although the penetration, if done right, can massage the G Spot it does nothing specific for the clitoris. Here you want to increase the pressure exerted on the clitoris by rotating your hips as if in a “grind”.

No, it’s not a race to the finish line or another lap around the gym. Think more like an adolescent, when sex was always on your mind and just sitting next to her made your heart skip a few beats and your “member” jump to the rhythm of the band, let alone come to full attention when she licked her bottom lip... Got it? Ok, now add a dash of romance, a slow touch, a firm hand and focus on HER, not YOU. I know, for some this is going to be really difficult….

Let’s take a small trip back through time. Feel the excitement? No, not that far back when you first discovered what Blue Balls were…. That was all about you wanting to get your “rocks” off and not about her at all! Well, visualize a little more. You can get there… Steady…. She has been there since the beginning… You have to catch up but not rush things…. Remember, “Romance”. This is not the time you fantasize her wanting to be “taken” and you just happen to be the one she chooses…. Remember it is not all about penetration! Ok, so what the HELL is it? Hey, don’t blow a gasket… Take it easy….

Guys, it’s similar to the “dry humping” you use to do before you had the guts to remove her cloths…. Adolescence 101… Remember? Ok…. Got it….. That’s right. You push against her mound with the area just above the penis... Rocking back and forth and side to side… Remember… Nickel, dime, penny, quarter…..? The goal is to stimulate the clitoris before, during and after each stroke. It might take a little coordination but if you can “walk and chew gum at the same time” you can do this…. Besides, the payoff is much better and therefore self rewarding.

We have talked about positions before when discussing the G Spot and yes, we need to do it again… There are many positions out there and exploration is all part of the fun but let’s look at two or three to start with… they are designed to produce good results when accomplished successfully.. The key, as always, is practice.

Ride Cowgirl Ride: We talked about it in G Spot stimulation and is also worthy of discussion here. With the female sitting on top the male should be on his back, his stomach muscles tightened and his pelvis in an upward tilt.. The purpose is to have his back arched. This will improve the quality of the “grind” while he is in full penetration while he then stimulates the clitoris with his thumb...

To accomplish this, he has to put his hand over her pubic area, with his thumb directly over her clitoris. With his back ached, she will then be able to “ride” her partner while he stimulates her clitoris. For her, a slow rocking, mechanical bull riding, effect is good to start. This places her in full control, helping her reach her total potential while he assists…. You’ve seen it in the movies. It looks as good on screen as it feels at home…… You may even get those beads of perspiration which drip off her breasts and on to his chest….

“Right” Angle-T Square or Carpenters Special: This position leads for deeper penetration while leaving the clitoris open for manual stimulation. For this to work, the woman has to lie on her back with her legs raised and slightly apart. More of a traditional invitation... Here it starts to deviate… Instead of falling into the same ole routine the male needs to lie perpendicular to the female, forming a “right angle” a T. He will need to rotate his body so that his “member” is facing the “mother lode”. Got that?

I hope so…. Next, she needs to lower her legs so they form an archway. Now it’s his turn to go “spelunking” and to continue the penetration into the obis the regular way… Depending on the female’s flexibility, this can lead to deeper penetration while leaving the clitoris open for manual stimulation. If accomplished, this can lead to the big “O” quite quickly.

The Enhancer – or Clity Clity Bang Bang: This position is to enhance or maximize clitoral stimulation during intercourse. It’s best performed while the female lies on her back with her legs held tightly together. Her partner should be kneeling or standing in front of her, at a slight diagonal, while she places both legs over one of his shoulders or on one side of his body if he is lying down. He then begins penetration.

This is most easily performed with the male standing and with her legs hanging off a couch, bed or counter. Yes, a variety of rooms. For variation, a Kitchen, Living room, or Bedroom can be easily explored…. The different rooms leading to enhanced excitement and the props are usually built right in. From private to more public depending on how much on the “edge” you want to be.

For the more adventurous and less shy, there are Sexual Toys that can be purchased at any legitimate erotic store. Either experienced solo or with partners, these toys can add the excitement and stimulation needed to either “capture or tame” the allusive Big “O”. For those who are looking for a more tradtional and functional performing device, a regular vibrator can be purchased. They come is a variety of colors, sizes, shapes and purposes. They can be used during intercourse to stimulate a variety of eroginus zones as well as used to stimulate the clitoris or even the G Spot to trigger an orgasm. For the more courageous anal insertion is also an option….

For direct stimulation and enhanced “O”, many find what is routinely called a “vibrating clitoral sucker” to be their choice. And no, his name is not “Ramone” or hers “Roberta”…. Although with practice even they can learn to orally stimulate and who knows, with your guidance, they may even vibrate…

With this device, the cup part needs to be placed over the clitoral area and squeezed a couple of times. This builds up the suction and attaches the device to the body. You then turn on the vibrating egg which is attached to the top of the cup. The suction draws blood into the clitoris, which makes it more sensitive. It also frees up your hands to use in other exploratory ways. Although a little bulky, this device does not have to be used “sole”. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensation to an already enjoyable time.

There is also a tiny “finger stimulator” which placed one the end of the finger does wonders for a quick pick me up.

Ok, now we have covered the two primary “hot” spots for orgasms. Like anything new it takes training and one always get better with practice. Remember 1) it is not a destination, 2) the mind is the most powerful tool, 3) self exploration is vital and 4) go explore new territory, and it’s worth the effort.

Now, the choice is yours as always. This may not be for you but what do you have to lose anyway? You may even gain new friends and better lovers….

So until next time, there is really No Excuse. You deserve something “special”…. And it is the beginning of a NEW YEAR!

Keep in mind, the Big “O” is not the goal. It is the reward. So go ahead and try something new. Put some “play” back into your sex life… Or better yet, put some Life into your Sex. It’s all about fun, play, pleasure, excitement, trust, romance and respect; at least for the moment….. If you have someone you want to keep around for awhile that’s better yet. You might even want to throw in some compassion and love…. Trust me, it’s worth it….

Now, I think it’s time for this Reservation Recluse to call it in… Let me know how you fare and if any of this works for you… I think you will find the exercise rewarding if nothing else…. So until next time when the topic is Dominance in Men and Attraction… It’s time to make a choice…. Shall you or shan’t you? I think you shall….

Bear in mind, it’s not about the ride as much as it is in picking the right horse and taking a deep seat in the saddle. AS the saying goes, “Save a horse, Ride _ ______!”

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