We Rock Our World

Or How We Think Is What We get!

"We become what we think about all day long.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“People are about as happy as the make up their mind to be.” – Abe Lincoln

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – N.V. Peale

“As you think, so shall you be.” – Jesus Christ

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”-Shakespeare

What do you believe? Is it true? Are these great thinkers of our time right? Are our thoughts powerful enough to direct how we feel? If this is true, then it only makes sense that the “good” or “bad” of our reality is simply a matter of how we perceive our world. Perception, then becomes ones Reality.

What do you think? What do you believe? Is it something you can buy into, or NOT?

If we habitually think in certain patterns, will it change our moods? Is it possible that our thoughts are that powerful? Does habitual thought in a negative, sour manner really affect our mood?

If it does, it would mean our mood directly follows our thoughts. These thoughts would then lead us to choose a label, which develops into a feeling; a feeling, which moves to become the foundation of our disabling emotions. It’s like a huge, ugly emotional iceberg waiting for the Titanic.

That’s a lot to believe… It leaves us with significant Responsibility; Responsibility for what we think, what we believe, what we feel, and what we do. And like the Titanic, it was not what was on the surface that sunk it. It was what was underneath, hidden below the surface.

Noted Psychologist Paul Haulk thought so and it is the foundation of today’s “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy”. He believed if we continued to think in negative patterns our mood would follow our thoughts, causing feelings and disabling emotions of Depression, Anxiety, Anger, and Sever Inadequacy.

Defeating these four horseman of the apocalypse would then be a matter of recognizing the faulty or irrational thought patterns and replacing them with more truthful, less distorted, positive patterns and beliefs.

Do you think it is possible that our thoughts really do create our reality? Do you believe it is possible to “think” our way into an anxious world, a depressed one, or an angry one? Do you believe we can influence our emotional moods by what we think? And if so, can we then, in turn, change our experiences, behaviors and ultimately our world?

“The Secret” says we can…. “Jesus Christ” said we could. Even “Abe Lincoln”, who suffered from a severe mental illness himself, said we could.

Is it really all about choice? I know, if you have been reading any of my previous Blogs you will know that I believe it is all about choice. The question is, do you?

If you find yourself “Rocked” by your world instead of “Rocken” your world, you might want to try it. What do you have to lose, Negative thinking? Well, that’s not the end of the world even if you don’t gain anything else. A little dose of positive reality never really hurt anyone. You might even find that the suffocating hold the world has around you loosens a bit and that external things and events don’t have to control your life.

For some of you it is not a stretch, as you have already experienced this. For others, it is as if I am asking you to jump to the moon or at least off a cliff. Give it some thought, No not the cliff jumping….. and let me know, OK? I would like to hear YOUR STORY… It could “change your world”. Maybe it already has.

As for now, this Reservation Recluse has to say so long…. I have bullets to bend and maybe, so do you…

Until next time…Ride with a purpose. Sleep like a baby and Make Love like a hooker, paid for a million dollar night. And remember, it’s Your Reality, make the most out of it! No one can live it quite like YOU!

I have made my choice… Now go make yours…

Musical Beds - An Equal Opportunity Employer

Or Is It Just An Exaggerated Response?

Do men really “sleep around” more than women or is this just a perception?

We all hear of the “stud muffin” who “beds” all that he sees and racks up numerous points on his “tally sheet”.

Is this a “fact” or a “figment” of his imagination?

Well, it appears that men are not all that good at keeping track of their extracurricular bedtime activities…. Ok girls, you are right. This is no news to you… You already knew this. You know he has not slept with you, no matter how good he tells everyone he is and to your knowledge he has not slept with any of your girlfriends either….…..

MMMM, what does this tell us about “reporting”?

Men it seems, tend to over exagerate and over estimate their sexual history. I know it’s a shock… Go figure… Research will soon be telling us that the “common measurement” is not true either; 8 inches is, in reality, only 4.5 and anything over 6 inches is not common either… then again, maybe some of you already know this.

Researchers, at the University of Alberta, think they have found a reason for this exaggeration. They found that “men” could not remember who they had been with and would “roughly” estimate their number of sexual encounters.

Women, on the other hand, remembered each of their partners and could easily keep a running tally. Two out of three women remembered who, where, what and when. They reported an average of 6.2 lovers, where men not likely to remember, left their calculations to guesswork… They reported an average of 11.9 bedtime partners…

It leaves me to question what body part was the .2 and .9. MMMMM, maybe that’s another story for yet another time.

Now for me, it leads to another question. If every time a man sleeps with a woman, a woman sleeps with a man. Does that mean that some women are getting more than their fair share? Or does it reinforce men’s exaggeration and guess work at figures as well his lack of paying any real attention to the matters “at hand”? Or is it simply those men like to see themselves as “greater lovers” and tend to believe their own “press”?

The other option is that there really are a few “Don Juan’s” who possess that “magic touch” and bed all within their sight line. I guess that explains the abundance of satisfied sheep along Interstate 5 going through Wyoming…. These Don Juan’s could have “skewed” the scale and screwed the, nah… I won’t go there… That really is another story for yet another time…. Promise!

Take this and couple it with a similar study from the State University of New York that found both men and women underestimate their partners past sexual history… I guess we all want to be the “man” and find our partner less experienced, even when that may not be the case… Perception, as they say, is our reality…

As for now, it’s time for this Reservation Recluse to engage in some fresh fieldwork… Now, do I ask myself these questions before I “score”, or after YOU score? I think I am confused…  Score?  Is that like the line on a peice of glass before your break it?

It seems it just might not be relative, as I may have already lied to myself before I lie to you…. If that’s the case, maybe it’s best to put all into the moment and take that 8-second ride… Only this time…. Remember her name… It may help the next time you take a jump out of the chute while going for another round.… then again “bragging rights” don’t have to be based in reality…. Just ask that fisherman-standing waist deep in water… He will tell you all about the ones that got away and about the one’s he has “mounted in the past”.

And as for you gals, we know you remember, but do you also consume what you flay? Sometimes it is all the same to US…. Maybe that's where we get messed up in the counting…. Or NOT…

Remember, making memories is what it’s all about, not keeping score… Or is it? I can’t seem to remember but I recall…..

Until later, it’s time to make a choice… I’ve made mine…. What is yours going to be? 6.2 or 11.9?

In your experience, does any of this really hold water? Let me know. I am anxious to hear.

Want - Need - Desire

The want to connect, the need to touch and be touched with the driving desire to f**k.

These are three of the major ingredients for passion that are held together by imagination and the instinct for selective risk…. Is this what makes one attracted to another?

With men, such a combination often triggers their need to protect, coupled with their need to breed. It is a combination, which many would say is instinctual. Some argue that it is not a need but an instinct. Some may call it manipulative. I call it natural. In this age of political correctness and asexual beings, it is something many are afraid to admit and few address.

He finds himself fully aware of her essence. The way she moves, the way she smells. The manner in which her eyes play with his, her smile. She moves her body in feline movements, seductively, with purpose and control - the rhythm of her moment defining the existence of the hour.

Held captive by her touch, he senses the warmth of her skin and the softness of her body. She nestles within the safety of his arms. He is lost in the moment of time. Rules define the moment, her rules. She demands he take control, knowing that he can’t or won’t. It is not in the definition, it breaks the instinct. It manipulates the need. It reduces the desire….

Yet, it fuels the passion and the fantasy.

Fantasy, the picture that is played out within one’s mind, the seductive pull of its gravitational force makes it difficult to resist. It is the experience where you are the center of the universe. You are the main character and the center stage.

Our need to be valued and being the center of interest is vital. If even for a few short minutes, reality can transform into a moment of fulfillment and for many it is enough. It does not matter if it is exercised in the Bedroom, the Boardroom of a Corporate Office or the VIP room of a Gentleman’s Club. We pay the price for that acknowledgement and attention. For that moment, it is real. For that moment, it is enough.

We all pay the price of admission. The price is high but often worth it. “We all need to be “Center Stage” at some Time and to Someone”.

The allusion of this dance seldom sustains us for long. If we extend our stay, it takes its toll and begins to drain the energy from us, until we become less than. We become a shell, functioning but with little energy and little real life. We perform. We function. We exist. We have all been there. We just have to admit it. Maybe we are there now, the passion gone.

Whether this dance is played out within Romantic Relationships, Career Moves, or the Work we have to do to get through the night, we sacrifice in order to make a better Day. In our mind, we make justifications and these justifications become real. They are just hollow. They are dangerous.

So, to what extent do we sacrifice our intentions for our desires? And are our desires enough to sustain our passion - the want, the need, the desire? … Primal or developed, at what interval do we stop the merry-go-round and decide to get off. At what juncture do we decide to stay? If it truly is about our wants, needs and desires, at what point do we go outside of ourselves and think of others.

The common denominator in this is “you”.

The common denominator is “you”, but none of it can be accomplished in a vacuum. It is all about the interchange with another, our wants, our needs, our desires. We tend to understand this in terms of Romantic Relationships and even in some fashion with Careers, but what happens when it falls outside these two boundaries or definitions?

In our search for understanding, connectedness, and value, do we discredit ourselves by not fully exploring “possibilities”? Are we afraid we will fall back into old patterns and entrapments? Are we afraid to lose the “reality” of the “fantasy”, even if it is for length of a 3-minute interlude? Are we afraid of what others might say or how others may interpret our intentions. After all, we have talked before on how it is all about perception…

I think it boils down to sensuality and making peace with being a man or a woman. It comes down to being comfortable within your own skin and coming face to face with your own wants, needs, and desires. Maybe it comes down to Passion, and doing so with all the Masculinity and Femininity you have. Maybe that’s all we really have. Maybe it’s all we really have to offer. Maybe it’s all we really have to get.

So, the next time you come face to face with your Wants, Needs, and Desires, take the time to fully explore the consequences. Maybe it’s time we become less afraid, maybe it’s time to take more risks. Maybe it’s time to take charge of who we are so we can embrace who we are becoming.

Maybe it’s time to stop forcing ourselves to do or be someone we no longer want to be because of the choices we have made, which no longer govern what we will continue to do. Maybe it’s time to see ourselves as vital and worth the value a chance encounter might give to you. Maybe it’s time to accept the “gift” with no strings, just because of who we are. Maybe just being ourselves is gift enough and that connectedness, that touch, that desire, is truly enough. Maybe, it is enough for you to take a chance. The chance to step outside ones comfort zone and risk growth. Maybe, you already have.

As I have stated, this can be applied to most anything. All we have, to take to the “game”, is ourselves. I happen to think it is enough....

I have come across individuals, in my life, who have become important to me… For no other reason than who they are. They have touched a chord and triggered a want, a need and a desire… I have met others. In the least expected places and at the least expected times, people do immerge in one’s life. It is my turn to say thank you. Thank you for allowing me to see the vulnerability in you that keeps me in touch with me… my wants, my needs, my desires…

If we keep ourselves open to these encounters, we find unexpected gains…. The honor is all mine. The gift, YOU.

Moments in time, taken without expectation are all fulfilling; Yesterday, only a prelude for today and today, solid enough to build Tomorrow.

This Reservation Recluse had better call it quits. Too much makes too little sense and if it doesn’t, maybe we are both in trouble. So as usual, it is a choice… What do you think? It is time to make yours? Have you already? Do you have the Want, the Need, the Desire? Are you willing to take that next step? Let me know what you think.

So until next time…. Like the song says, “Tequila makes her cloths fall off”. "Jose you are a friend of mine"… Ok… maybe not but it’s a thought… No want, No need, No desire… Just Reaction?

Maybe a discussion for next time….

Communication Or Lack There Of

Communication, Is it the ability to express an idea or to hear one? Is it best to keep ones mouth shut and ears open or open your mouth and just block out what you hear?

Sometimes, both? Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.....

When your head in the sand, then your ass is in the air.... Very tempting to kick by the way..... A diversion true but still tempting...

They say "shallow brooks are noisy", "still waters run deep" and "one should not live in glass houses". I understand the glass house thing... No insulation and in the Montana Mountains, you need insulation. As for brooks and deep waters, well I suppose a little spring rain might just change those two a whole bit....

So, none of it really makes much sense...

With the advent of "smart phones" came "stupid people". Guess you can't have one without the other... It is balance and in its own way, "fair"... According to our Government, things have to be "fair" now days... Haven't you heard? I think I would rather have "smart people" and a few "dumb phones". And don't get me started on the Government.

I really don't need a "phone" to look things up for me, to remind me when I'm late or wake me up in the morning... I had a mother and have a wife. Why do I need a "smart phone"? Ok, you are right, smart phones don't cook, wash or iron either...

For that matter... No, I had better not go there..... "Smart" ? Well, I'm not a phone..

I am told that men came into their own with "smart phones". What does that mean?... That we are... Now, I get it....... Nice try ... But then, you might have something there....

We, the male species, are not much for communication. For the most part, we would rather do something than talk about it... Act rather than listen and turn a deaf ear rather than figure out a tirade of feelings about what we are doing wrong...

You, the female gender, talk about something that bothers you. We want to fix it.... You complain about the service in a certain store and we wonder why you keep going back... We see you with your head in the sand and your butt in the air, well, we.... You get the idea, we don't really wonder "why" your head is in the sand.... We figure you put it there for a reason....

As for the Government, well "for and by the people" does not seem too mean much anymore...

"Working" for what you get and "deserving" what you "got" seems to have no place in a society hell bent for trading freedom for safety and a rule book of laws for common sense and courtesy... It is sort of like, no matter where you go there you are and it really does not matter how you got there.

Only, what are you going to do now? Wait for fairness, complain about inequality or do something to communicate your stance, then do something to mitigate your position ... You can stand with your head the sand or position yourself in a cranial rectal invasion... The view is all the same...

I hate to tell you, it matters little...

"Smart phone" or not... Communication of an idea is non existent at home or the country. It takes a collaborative effort, not a polarized view and adversarial stance... And I am not sure how much "true grit" we have anymore...

It takes "Grit" to develop an idea and take a stance... It takes "Grit" to express an idea and work through to a collaborative agreement... It takes "True Grit" to not compromise but work through to an ending, truly agreeable and workable to both sides..

It takes a stance.. It takes communication... It takes Grit. Wow, back to that word again... But I ask you, when has stance, communication and grit become dirty words...

When one compromises ones value, is that good? Compromise does not mean coming together in collaborative agreement... Communication does not mean letting someone over run you with ideology that undermines your core values... Communication does not mean you can't speak your piece and to collaborate one does not have to compromise ones values or position...

One does not have to give away basic rights and fought for freedoms. One does have to stand. Stand for what you believe. Stand for where you have come. Stand for where you are going... Maybe, making a "stand" is the first part in good communication..

Remember, if you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there and if you don't know where you are, someone will take you by the nose and place you where they want you be; telling you what to think, how to to behave, what to feel and how good you have it since you are now taken care of and safe... After all, we need to compromise for the good of the "state", for the good of the "family"... No need to communicate... We have compromise.....

Well, this reservation recluse has made a decision. ... I saw a sign. It said, "We don't call 911 here". Is that a decision, a stand, or a direct line of communication?... Well, what I am sure of is that it is no compromise....

So until later, keep the cotton out of your ears, your hands away from your eyes and keep your mouth full of words that define your character and the road you run on... The rest? Well, it just might make a collaborate decision out of a compromised condition...

Keep your rifle ready, your powder dry and your ass on a fine running horse..

A Time For Ourselves...

Those of us who have been around a while, often come to the realization that the “static” of life can get overwhelming, the demands become too much and we find that instead of making "the difficult choices",  we find ourselves trying to please...   That placing one foot in front of the other seems to drag the other back and instead of getting further ahead, we find ourselves dragging our behind....  Sound familiar?

Sometimes we just need to find ourselves alone with our own thoughts, on our own time, in our own space..   This is easier said than done, as the world often comes crashing in with a vengeance and we “find” that time is allusive.

It is vital that we find “time” for ourselves.  To find that time to listen to our own sense of self.  To pay attention to our own needs, our own wants and our own desires...  Maybe it is important to pay attention to ourselves; to reconnect with what is important.  Maybe it is important to hear one’s own voice in the wind and take the time to revitalize our mind, our body and our spirit...  

Maybe it is important to reconnect with who we were and more importantly, who we are, as we grow into who we will beome..

Sometimes, it helps to put yourself in natures care.  Things do not seem so gigantic then.  I find the ocean makes one realize how insignificant our troubles can be in relation to the whole and the hot sand how significant a moment can be.

Earlier today I watched a young girl find her solitude on the early morning beach.  I felt as if I were intruding on her special time...  I gave her, her space and careful not to intrude, I made my way around another point.  It led me into a jungle covered path, away from the beach.   Here too was solitude.  I realized that one could find peace of mind anywhere if given the opportunity.  The key was to identify it, acknowledge it, and then accept it.... 

On my return, I walked past the point where I first saw the young girl...  In her place was a mermaid made of sand.   The water slowly washing away at the form and I wondered what figure was true...  And wondered what essence would transpire the next time I walked in solitude and found self in the Essences and Solitude  of another....

In order to keep true to our nature, we must keep true to ourselves... 

As I find myself far away from the Rocky Mountains I find that one can find that truth most anywhere, if one cares to look; in the Rocky Mountains, the jungle of a distant island or the golden beach of the Hawaiian sand...

I find there is significant truth in the saying, "No matter where you go, you have to take yourself along.." and, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there."

As you contemplate today’s journey, may you enjoy your own company and have a purpose in your travels... 

So until tomorrow, this Reservation Recluse wishes you safe passage.  The decisions you make today will be the foundations of your tomorrow..  I have made mine, now go make yours…

Until later, Mahalo

Resilency Is More Than A State Of Mind

As I Sit Overlooking The Bay in Kauai, Hawaii; Watching The Surf And Those Not Faint Of Heart Riding It, it crosses my mind that this reservation recluse is far from the haunts where his roots were formed .

Yet, across these waves I see a resiliency that transgresses, time and distance.

As I watch the surfers fall and regain their board, I am amazed at their resiliency. It is there I realize that Resiliency Is More Than A State Of Mind. It Is Action.... It is Surviving.... It is Thriving.... It is Life! It is actively being Oneself; Healthy In Mind, Body and Spirit. It Is Something we Learn as we grow up or We Don't Grow. It is allusive for some and a friend for others...

I Watch The Surfers And I Realize That They Don't Need Someone To Remind Them Life Is Worth Living Large. That it is more than getting up in the morning, putting on two shoes and heading off to work. It is more than back to back commitments or employers who have forgotten what it is like to scratch out a living or to raise a healthy family.

It is more than schedules, meetings and covering ones ass with paper justification. It is more than crises and survival. It is more than staying in bed afraid to get up and out. 

It is about Life. It is about Living.... It is about Living Your Life....!

It is something I see while I look out over the surf.... It is something I saw while I sat the back of a horse overlooking bitterroot flats and sagebrush coulees. It is about attacking life with all you have and being prepared for it...

It is about a wipeout on a big wave and climbing back on the board to assess and ride the next wave... It is about being pitched from a bronc and having the courage to climb back on while knowing the sun is just breaking and there is still a long day ahead. It is about risk. It is about being prepared. It is about doing.

It is about reading your environment and especially, it is about reading yourself.... Then, it is about giving your all to the moment... It is about being mindful. It is about filling your cup so you have something in which to fill others... It is about purpose.. Your purpose and how you go about making your dreams a reality... It is about being actively involved today... Involved today, with you!

As the sun drops into the ocean and the the last surfer kicks the sand, grabs her board and heads back to her jeep, I can't help but see the correlation between what I just experienced and what I learned years ago. Whether or not your sitting in a bunkhouse with an old cowboy, in a group on a recovery unit or listening to the waves break on a sandy beach. The advice is still the same...

Nourish yourself when your are Hungry ... Not just when you are upset or bored.... Eating healthy is vital.

Express yourself when you are Angry, don't react to your disabling emotions... Reactions will drive a negative behavior. Express your feelings... Pay attention to your affect and be congruent with mood, feeling, and behavior... Expressing these feelings will reduce their negative hold.

Be around others when you are Lonely. Isolation is not healthy... Make an attempt to interact with others, even when you don't feel like it... Being around others who are involved with life will rub off on you...

Rest when you are Tired, as sleep is vital to all our functions; mental, physical and spiritual...

HALT...

It was good health advice then. I believe it remains so today. So, Until later ... While Digging sand from crevasses it was never suppose to be, this reservation recluse says....

"Mahalo", and remember that unless you know where you are going; any road will take you there.... Stop!... Listen!... Make a choice! ... I've made mine...... Now go on, make yours....

And, We Have Long Forgotten – Or That’s The Way It Seems…

I understand we have taken a giant leap into the future and endogenous expectations are quite common, but give me a break!…  Have we completely lost our minds…?

Life, love, and the pursuit of a second encounter, of even the first kind, cannot be lost in just a few short years.  Or can it?  What I am talking about is an article I finished reading, explaining to “boys”, how to treat a “girl”.  “The rules of dating”.

Now tell me, is this rocket science?  No, maybe I do not want to hear it….  I am not sure I could handle the facts… 

My Granddaughter assures me, it is true…  Boy meets girl.  Boy screws up.  It is something that has gone on for centuries but today we appear to have taken giant steps backwards.  So, does it take a degree in Rocket Science to figure this out?

What is Rocket Science in todays dating game?

Rocket Science: I remember when backyard Rockets were launched by waterpower.  Waterpower was as technical as it got…  We also played “catch and kiss” on the school playground, but I regress……

Do you remember plastic rockets and garden hoses?  Rocket Science!  1)Make sure you have  water in your rocket.  (hose), 2) Insert rocket into receptacle. (Make sure it fits.  Sometimes it was rather tight.),  3) Give it 4 to 5 good pumps and 4) pull the trigger…

 

Huston, there was no problem, other than you were washed with liquid if you did not point the projectile in the right direction or even if you did…  It was fun and everyone knew the rules, at least we thought we did.

Ok, those of you who are older that ten are getting a distorted vision….  Get your mind out of the mud and at least into the gutter…  That is not what I am talking about but then, maybe I should be.  At the rate our young men are developing, they are not going to be able to get close enough to the female species to take them to dinner, let alone “mate”… 

I know, “mate” is a word that goes beyond rocket science and is associated more with biology.  It use to have something to do with families, commitment and relationships….  Or at least entertaining.  Choosing a mate was what dating was essentially about.  It was an opportunity to test the field..  Now I guess, you don’t even have to date to mate… 

The following is a summation of the article I read, telling young men the do’s and don’ts of dating…  Something I guess, no young man knows how to do these days...  I am not sure they know whom they are dating, let alone what or where….  However, that is another story for yet another time…

Hold on to your hats, because we are going for a ride… and it might make you dizzy, wanting to throw up, when you see how far we have regressed…  I have taken some liberty with the presentation but the jest is there in all its glory.

First: Look your best…. Put a little effort into cleanliness.  A bath and deodorant might help…  In addition, go easy on the cologne. 

Second: Plan your date, or at least know where it is you want to take her; out the front door might be a start…  Be on time, but most of all; show up…   

Show up?  You have to be kidding!  No, I am not!  I guess many young men these days find that showing up is just too big of a commitment…. 

Show up?  Well, I guess that is a start…

Third:  Compliment her.  Do not insult her…  She is not your “bitch”.  She is your “date”…  Treat her like one; a “date” not a “bitch”…  Open her door...  I know she has two arms and two hands as well as you do, that is not the point. 

Fourth:  Pay attention to HER, not the girl two blocks over, who has her skirt riding close to her navel…  The other girl does not care about YOU…  The one you’re with might not either, but at least you have a chance…

Fifth: Do not rush to take seat yourself and leave her standing … or worse yet; let the door slam in her face….Let her walk through the door first.  Do not rush to get ahead of her to get the seat facing the bar.…  Pull her chair out for her, but not out from under her.  Help her be seated…  Don’t slam her to the table, like some WWF wanta be.

Sixth:  Don’t “hog” down your food as if it is the only meal you have had in three days; even if it is… wait…  Chew your food.  Do not just swallow it.  Chew it a couple of times first…

Seventh:  Do not blow your nose on the napkin, or wipe your nose on your sleeve.  Sucking down loogies and swallowing them is not the best practice either…  Get up and excuse yourself from the table.  No one wants to see Shrek escaping from either nostril.

Eighth: Talk with her and ask questions about her; do not just talk about you…  What you did during middle school basketball does not interest her.  However, asking her where she is in her “cycle” will not gather you points either. 

Ninth:  Do not play with your food, talk with your mouth full, or talk into your plate… 

Tenth:  Do not brag about your conquests with other women.  She does not want to hear about them…  Moreover, she will not believe you … You have acted too much like a fool already. 

Eleventh:  Pay for the meal.  Do not expect her to pay….  If she offers to pay, refuse…  It is your date; consequently, it is your dime…  Do not pretend to leave your wallet behind and go out to the car, leaving her with the bill...  The Bill you might be leaving her with, may be sitting in the chair at the next table….

Twelfth:  Offer your arm on a walk…  Do not walk behind her so you can look at her ass...  Walk along side her, not in front or behind her.  Walk on the outside of her, near the road…  If a car is going to roll up on the curb, let it hit you first.  Let her grab your arm. She will do this so you don’t grab her ass.  It is not as if she trusts you.

Thirteenth: Let her know you had fun and she was enjoyable company...  You can start by keep your boundaries and being respectful…  Do not force yourself on her….  It is called RAPE, not a good time.  No means no and yes, well it might mean no too.  Never kiss and tell or you will not have another chance to tell anyone… 

Fourteenth:  If you have to pass gas, excuse yourself; do not ask her to pull your finger….  It doesn’t  work, even in middle school…

Fifteenth:  Masturbation is not a topic of conversation for the first date, no matter how many times you have done it that day.  It makes you look like a loser, which is probably the case... 

Sixteenth: Bringing her a vibrator, as a gift, is not something she will show to her mother; no matter how pretty it is or how many speeds it has….  If you have already purchased it, return it; if you have not, then save your money for a Starbucks card…

So, am I completely outdated or is all this advice necessary?

I come from a generation where sticking your tongue in her ear or down her throat was not considered sexy, and commenting on her breast size would not get you another date, even if you told her more than a mouthful was a waste…  There were just some thing’s a guy did not do; at least the first time out of the chute… 

And hearing the crowd yell, “Ride em cowboy” was not one of them….

In my day, she would turn on you like an ornery bull, during Cheyenne Frontier Days, and stomp you into the DIRT.

With that said, I am going to hang my head and wonder what the h--- has happened.    

Sometimes, it just takes common sense but that means we have to have some sense to make it common and I guess we are just plumb out of that.…

So until next time, this reservation recluse is going to ponder the age of forgotten youth… and hope it is not dead everywhere.  That somewhere, someplace, sometime, there might be a young man who actually knows how to treat a girl…  And young women who actually like to be treated like one.

May the sun shine bright and the moon rise to meet the evening meadow…  We all have choices… I’ve made mine….  Now, go out and make yours….. 

Winter Perspectives of “A Reservation Recluse”.

Greetings and a bright good morning!

As I opened the door of my truck this morning, one could feel a change in the morning air.  What was crisp and bitter cold yesterday, was moist and slightly warm this morning.  The clouds hovering close to the ground blanketed the gravel road as it meandered through the woods.

 

The trees once frocked with Chrystal, diamond like moss now dripped, as if sweating after a long mid summer’s day run….  The sun, not yet playing its game in the morning air, did not reflect off the moisture, so there was no shimmer or shine…  Only the mist, which caressed the branches, making them look as if something wicked was hiding within the Scottish moors of the Highlands.

Yet this was not Scotland.. It was Montana and I was high in the Rocky Mountains questioning, “How the hell it was -53 below last night, and 43 above this morning….”  I got into the truck listening as the starter cranked the twin-powered diesel engine to life.  “Yes, life was good this morning.”  If lucky, we would reach close to 50 degrees by mid afternoon.

It does not take one long to adapt to Montana weather….  It is just the shock of the first encounter.  Either extreme, is like running head first into an invisible wall…. It stops you cold In your tracks.   You assess, adapt, and you overcome….  One has no time to adjust…..  Adjustment leaves one complacent and out here, complacency can kill you….

 

You always have to be prepared… 15 minutes away from your vehicle at -53 below and you turn into your favorite Popsicle….  A 100 degree change in the weather can leave one sliding down and over an embankment, trapped until spring thaw, as no one is likely to find you once you are off the mountain road, where there is little traffic anyway.  It leaves one thinking that “today is not really a good time to die.”  So, we take the offence and live….

 

That is what life is about in the Mountains… Living, thriving on what life throws at you, enjoying the moment rather than complaining on what was, could have been or might be;  an old concept in today’s modern world of entitlement and passive complacency, but a concept that still works and is alive here.

The trek down the Mountain was uneventful….  I followed the mist as it hit the blacktop and as I topped a small ridge, I could see the fog as it blanketed the valley below…  Some would say an inversion and bad “air” day, but it was mystical to me.... Life is good...

I am told it will be back to -10 and below soon.  With the change, we will get snow as it approaches freezing….  February is still winter in Montana…. And Spring Time In The Rockies can leave ones tongue stuck on the metal pole of a Grade School Playground.  March I am afraid might not bring us much relief either; only a clearer vision of what maybe to come….

 

Hopefully, that is water, a slow melt and spring run-off that lifts the draught we have had for the past few years….  We do so need the moisture….  But the bitter cold? 

Well, enough of my disorganized thought and rambling mind.. Tonight I head to The Original Montana Club where a quality bourbon and a good steak await….  Then again, maybe just a mineral water with a slice of lime and a vegan salad….  No, just kidding….  That stuff will kill ya..

   

So until later… the choice is yours, adjust or live… be entitled and demand or grab that brass ring with both hands and take some responsibility for yourself, your family, your county…  


All old fashion ideals, but from where I stand they are alive and well.  The world is not standing still and history does repeat itself….  Does one “Stand and Deliver” or does one give way to the tide of social pressure of compromise and complacency…  And, when does compromise eat way at ones basic values until one no long has them….  I forgot, we should not ask those questions.  It just might offend someone...

I have made my choice.  Have you made yours….  I think you have.. Now, can you withstand the consequence of that decision…  I hope so…  I stand by mine….

 

Until next time, keep your tongue off metal poles and your hands to yourself…  Talk less, listen more and for God’s sake remember that something’s are worth fighting for and other things are not for sale, no matter the price….  It’s something we all know but some of us have forgotten….

Traden Harley's For Horses

I was recently in touch with a friend, across country… Montana to Massachusetts, Montana City to Boston… Different cultures, different space… A bright woman with a clear head and a lot of sass… Her writings always bring a smile to ones face. She asked what I had been doing of late. I said, “Traden Harley’s For Horses…” She said, “That'd make a hell of a title for a song...or perhaps a blog (hint, hint).” So here’s both…. As one might say, “Priceless”.

Horses and Harley’s…. They have a lot on common…. You don’t touch the bikers colors and you don’t touch the cowboys hat…. An attitude of strength and solitude permeates both. They are loners within a group, forgotten in time and space yet fully alive in today’s culture…. We have a little “biker” and “cowboy” in us all.

You can “double up” on both, Harley’s and Horses but they don’t perform as well if you do… It’s better if you put yourself astride, with your face to the wind and feel the “horse power” between your legs. Then again, arms wrapped around you and a head resting on your back is not a bad place to be either… It’s just a different motivation….

Harley’s for Horses, a transformation back in time… Coming to grips with one’s own intrinsic values and motivations. Sometimes, we all need a change. A change that appears different on the outside but may be frightenly similar when one takes a hard look. Maybe it’s not really a change “without”, but a getting back to whom we really are “within”. Just along a different road, a different high mountain valley. A reawakening one might say, to one’s own inner strength.

Song…
Traden Harley’s for Horses 7-22-2010

Traden Harley’s for Horses, Leathers for lariats.
Skull caps for a high crown Stetson Cowboy Hat.
Long stretches of black asphalt, for a High Mountain Desert Plain.
It looks like I’m riding again…

Fancy black and chrome with pin strips, and a big bore loping twin.
Traded for a big, high steppen stallion, black as the night within.
I step lightly into the stirrup and upon that big blacks back
Yes, it looks like this ole Cowboys finally back .

You can feel the power beneath you, with a 100 pounds of thrust
You can feel that stallions muscles, having only you to trust
A deep seat in the saddle with legs stretched out tight
Muscle or steel, this ole cowboy rides tonight.

Long stretches of black asphalt or a High Mountain Desert Plain
It really doesn’t matter as this Cowboys rides again.

Harley’s and Horses, they are both a life style that if “asked to explain” is almost impossible to understand…. It’s a concept you feel, not one you intellectualize. We have all experienced this in some fashion or another… At some time or at some place. In some manner of speaking, we all Trade Harley’s for Horses sometime in our lives. It’s our way “back to the future” and away from “stagnation”.

So today, I leave you with this thought… “Traden Harley’s For Horses….” When is it your time? Or have you already? As always, It’s a choice… I’ve made mine… Have you made yours? All we really have are “Harley’s and Horses” and the manner in which we sit the saddle…. Performance and style….. they go hand in hand….

Until next time, this Reservation Recluse has Horses to Train and Harley’s to Ride.