Monday, July 2, 2012

Women and Dominant Men

Are they IN or are they OUT

Women and dominant men, do women like them or not?

Well, contrary to Pop Psychologists of today who advise men to take a dominant, aggressive role in relationships, a new study published in the journal Personal Relationships states; maybe not.

Their study revealed that most women prefer potential marriage partners for their prestige, not their dominance. mmm Interesting finding....  Prestige?  Might have difficulty spelling that.... 

"Men who are recognized by their peers for their skills, achievements and abilities; rather than men who use “coercive tactics” to subordinate their rivals, are seen as better potential mates."  Now that is a "big" statement with "hugh" implications...

Neither in Bed or the Business World: It appears, the only way women really like dominant coercive tactics is on the athletic field in the context of male-male athletic competitions.… at least that is what the studies indicate...

It appears women are highly sensitive to the context in which men display domineering/aggressive behaviors. This is especially true when these men are evaluated as long term "partner" material.  It makes a difference if one finds oneself drawn to Play or drawn to Marry.  These conditions appear to have  different sets of criteria.

Behaviors women found attractive on the athletic field and within athletic competitions were found unattractive, when displayed within interpersonal relationships. It was concluded that women avoid dominant, aggressive men, as long-term relationship partners, even though their arousal states may have been heightened.

Arousal and committment appear to be two different entities.  Hense, the different set of criteria.

It appears, what may draw interest in a short term, one night fling may not last a full term relationship.

This does not say that women are “turned off” by aggressive and dominant styles of men. The “Bad Boys” continue to get the girls. Ask any “good guy” and ask most any Girl. Bad Boys are attractive but women’s preference for dominance, directly decreases as their preference for prestige and a long term relationship increases.

As women’s search for mates or long-term relationships increase, women’s allure for aggressive, dominant males decreases…. So what was once attractive in dating becomes a turn off in a long-term relationship, where more stability and cooperative styles are appreciated.

While dominance is a positive characteristic and associated with confidence in power dating and the athletic field, it can and often is viewed as domineering and controlling within a long term relationship.   This leaves no room for dominance and aggression within marital bliss…..

These three studies, at two U.S. Universities, leave little doubt that what is an attractant and an arousal within some areas, does not readily cross over into the stability of long-term relationships. So guys, find that fine line between.... Macho and sensitive…. Aggressiveness and strength…. Dominance and domineering…. Assertiveness and controlling…. Subjugation and influence…

Women tend to like winners and men of confidence but how these men arrive there seem to make a significant difference in a womans choice for a mate.

Maybe the answer is in plain ole “respect”. If a guy is respected by his peers he is more than likely successful, committed and knows how to treat others appropriately…. Those skills are transferable, in a positive way, to long-term relationships. If he is coercive, subjugating, domineering and aggressive; winning at all cost, then these are looked at as negative transferring traits. Something most women appear attracted to in short term encounters but  avoid in looking for long term relatinships...…..

So what may have been the best sex ever, last night, may not develop into anything more than a one night stand?

What is the moral off this story…? Well, it just might be that a little salt goes a long way…. Or just because you liked it for desert, does not mean you want it for dinner….. Or one punch doesn’t mean a knock out….. Then again for some, maybe it does?

Ok, I know… the choice is really yours…. And you’re correct, not all studies are “right”. But give it some thought…

Could this be the answer to why he was once the “apple of your eye” and now the “rotten apple” at the bottom of the barrel? Could this be “why” women see the potential in men and often overlook who they really are? Why they are attracted to the aggressive style at the arousal state with the hope he will modify it into the skills and assets he needs to succeed at being a partner, father and stable lover.

Attraction is a personal challenge...

What attracts one, may not attract another but maybe, there are some fundamental rules and this may be one of them... Give it some thought… What do you think…? Does it hold water from your experience? Let me know...

But take heed. No woman likes a loser. They just don’t like CONTROLERS.

We all have a story to tell…. What’s YOURS?

Until next time…. Are you looking for a partner or a good time… can you have both? If so, what is your receipt for success? What was your receipt for disaster…?

This Reservation Recluse is heading for the Teepee… Life is way too complicated. Either that or I will be on the back of that HOG I have sitting outside….

So until later….  Thank "God" for relationships... What would we do without them?

Ok, that’s another story for yet another time…. At least ANOTHER MOOD.

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